23/12/08 - Memories

Few months has passes since our relationship ended. Just wish to blog it out and hope I would feel better after blogging it out. Been having restless night for the past few months, never getting to sleep early even if I wanted to and also I've been having an incurable cough which is quite a serious issue soon I guess.

It all started out in my college life, on 11/9/06. Honestly, we were just very close friends before we coupled up. She came from the other class where she soon transferred to my class. That's when I get to know her. She was a friendly and cute girl and she is surely good to be with. She easily gets well with anyone in the class I guess.

After a few months knowing her, I started to stay back in college just to accompany her as she needs to wait for her mother to finish work before she has the transportation back home. We were always hanging out in empty classrooms with Po yi and Jia Chian where we did all our homeworks that are handed to us. Of course, I was the last to finish all the time.. All of them are smart people. But, that doesnt matter though. In fact, I've been hanging out with her for months before we even couple up. Those times were good and it really encourages me to study well, study properly for my college life. Even with those encouragement, I don think I did that well in my A-levels either.

Once we have couple on the mentioned date, I felt happy in my heart though. She is my second GF and I wish I could cherish her throughout the whole period when she is my GF. There were few things that I need to follow though because she does not want her parents to know that she is dating so, this relationship would be an underground relationship where nobody else should know, especially her parents. Due to that very simple reason, I wasnt allowed to hold her hands in public or even give her warmth through hugging. Each day, I accompanied her to around 5.30 before I could be going back home for a simple reason, Thats the only time where I can be with her and we cant even go out dating on weekends. So, have to make it all up on weekdays. What is very common to us is arguing. We argued even on very simple matters. Why? because ..... we have different point of views on stuffs I suppose.

Even if there is a chance we are going out to a shopping mall to date, it would be Jusco in Wangsa Maju because we have very limited time together and she needs to be back to college by 5.30. So, we rarely have a chance to go somewhere far, not until there are holidays where I've got a chance to go out with her. No matter where we go though, there is something that I need to tolerate with her, I can't hold her hands while we are dating. It applies even with or without friends around us. It's to be safe though, and I even manage to tolerate on this matter which I think very little would be able to tolerate on this matter, no matter that person is a he or a she. Sometimes going out together seems like going out with my best friend. In reality, we are couples, but we don't look like one. Well, maybe this would be the down part of us, but at the start, we surely are happy couples in the college.

I would like to give credits to Sean and Kai Bin as well. Without them, I would have a happy day with her erase from my life. We actually organized a Genting Trip with the classmates. but it ended up a 3-couples affair. Me and her, Sean n Bee Suan, Kai Bin and Shiroi. I really had alot of fun there and it was the best Genting Trip for me so far. This is the first time in my couple life where she didn't push my hands away when I hold her hands. Well, we had lots of pictures which are all gone because i left that part out when I formatted my pc. All thats left are pictures of us all that are screened by her because she don't want her parents to see those pictures. Well, its gone now, cant hope for much though. The pictures wont appear all of a sudden. There are something in common in all of us in Genting that day that are:

1) 6 person are there, all of us are couples that time.

2) We are sharing the same room.

3) We slept on the same bed!

4) All of us, broke up already but I was the last 1 who did it though.

The only difference between them is that I am the only one left who is single if I am not mistaken. I didnt had a good sleep in Genting because of my own stupidity to circle the Genting area alone when everyone is asleep. Well, it took me around one hour + before I finally sat down at starbucks and chill out there for quite some time. All in all, the genting trip was the best memory between us I guess.

We actually coupled for 2 years, but I only manage to hold her hands twice. Once a year. Once in Genting. Once in Sg. Wang which was turns out to be a very good experience as well. Well, I feel like a loser in this matter though. Am I really that bad a BF? Thats what happen when a relationship is started without the blessing of the parents.

Nowadays, even after few months once we broke up, I still have the feelings in my heart. It's not fading away. I don't really know how to do let it go but breaking up is a very very very painful thing to happen. To actually have the courage to say it out is equally as painful as to have heard it. Sorry to have made you suffer in this period. I've not been a good bf i suppose. its the 2nd time that it happen to me.

Sincee I was about to go out, I actually shorten up the story and I've lost inspiration in writing in. Not really in the mood and there are no pictures to post =( sad....

Christmas is coming soon and I will have party tomorrow night in ST's place. Oh well, to be precise, a drinking night if I'm not mistaken. So, I think I would be the drunkard the night. Hopefully I'm not though. Don't TARGET me!!!!! I've been a victim before!!!!